How can a card game reduce the mental load of keeping life organised?
This week I boiled a random egg with last nights spaghetti, ironed a set of pyjamas, washed a pair of wellington boots and organised Friday afternoon off work. Why? Because Friday is the last day of term for my four year old - she needs to take in a decorated hard-boiled egg, wear pyjamas, *not* take her wellies to school like a normal Friday for forest class, and needs picking up at 1pm.
After just six months with a child at school I’ve learnt that the end of term means a pinch point of extra things to remember. Never mind thinking about how to manage with no childcare school for the following two weeks. The mental load of school forms, childcare and extra-curricular activities is huge.
However, I’m not at breaking-point.
Although I hold the cards of school forms, childcare and extra-curricular activities right now - I don’t hold all the home, care and daily grind cards needed to run my home. The Fair Play Method has helped us to share the mental load. And I’m going to tell you how.
What is the Fair Play Method?
From Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play, a New York Times Best-Seller and Reese’s Book Club pick, comes The Fair Play Method. A time and anxiety saving system that offers a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities.
Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred people from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails, how to get it all done efficiently and why our homes are our most important organisation when thinking about new work-life strategies.
With 4 easy-to-follow rules, 100 household cards, and a series of conversation starters for you and the people you live and parent with, Fair Play helps you prioritise what's important and who should take the lead on every chore, from laundry to homework to dinner.
The four rules of Fair Play
All time is created equal. Your time is diamonds. And it is just as valuable when used for care-giving as it is for paid-work outside the home.
Reclaim your right to be interesting. Do you ever feel like you’re in a loop of chores and work on repeat? A critical element of the Fair Play Method is reclaiming space to fill your own cup.
Start where you are now. Wherever that is, Fair Play gives you the tools to get started.
Establish your values and standards. I can’t tell you what those are - these will be unique to your home and family. What I can share is that when you know what these are you’ll be able to clearly organise tasks, freeing up time and reducing anxiety.
How I use the Fair Play Method
In my home we introduced Fair Play after our second child arrived and while we were both on parental leave late last year. We had a few elements already part of how we shared tasks around the home, but properly implementing the system opened up some helpful conversations about standards, values and systems.
Talking through our minimum standards helped open up some really valuable conversations about our standards, what’s important to us and why.
We tried a spreadsheet for organising who held which card but it quickly became apparent we needed something more obvious. So we’re currently testing out fridge magnets with each card name written on in Sharpie,
We’ve added and adapted cards to make the system work for us - for example organising a christening for our new baby we realised needed a card to recognise the associated mental load. While that's not one I hold, I do hold 'packing - travel' and usually hold 'travel' so we'll need to talk lots in the planning stages to make sure we don't double up anywhere.
Three ways to learn more about Fair Play:
Does what I've shared so far intrigue you or appeal? It's not a system I can fully share in just one blog! Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Buy or borrow a copy of the book - Fair Play by Eve Rodsky*. You can also pick up the Fair Play Deck* to accompany the book.
Follow the @FairPlayLife Instagram account and a few of the other Certified Facilitators. I love content from Laura @thatdarnchat, @itscrystalbritt and @drveronicaeyo
Work with a Certified Fair Play Life Facilitator to walk you through the process so you don’t have to work through all the details/challenges/questions on your own. I’m one of only two Facilitators listed in the UK (with another following soon!). If you’d like to talk about how we can work together - book a free call to get started.
Does it sound like Fair Play might be for you? Follow @thefloat.space or join my newsletter to be first to hear about my Fair Play services and special offers.
*This post contains affiliate links, so I may earn a small commission when you make a purchase through links on my site at no additional cost to you.
